What is a girl to do...?

OK It's 1 am and I can't sleep. My internal clock is off and I'm wide freakin' awake. There's not much on TV and there's only so much QVC and informercials a girl can handle.

Earlier I lay beneath my Christmas tree. I've been doing this since I was a child and have always found it to be relaxing, theraputic in a way. The ritual is this, I lay on my back and scootch under the lower branches so I can look up, inside (Important Note: If you've got a large tree, make sure it's tied up so you don't accidently bring the thing down on top of you while you're getting under it-I've had 3 trees come down on me-no lie-lol there's no sight funnier than a grown woman pinned beaneath a downed Christmas tree cursing profusely, enough to make a sailor blush-also don't scootch too far, you'll hit your head on the tree stand-BIG OUCH!). I suppose I do this because the lights on the tree are so lovely. In a way it's like looking up at the night sky. Tiny specks of light, shining through the night..Lordy I'm getting poetic lol it must be the cold meds. Beauty can be found on the inside as well as the outer boughs. Colorful blips of light reflect off the tinsle and ornaments, creating piney patterns on the ceiling that can be seen through open patches in the branches. It's a different way of looking at things, seeing things that don't normally get noticed...and it's fine if the tree has a twisted trunk, because it's still quite lovely. The imprefections somehow become perfections, I don't know why, it just is. Even at the age of 38 I still enjoy doing this, my family seems to think it's a bit freakish but I don't park myself beneath their trees, just mine.

On another note, I think I'm gonna bite the bullet and do the E Harmony thing. I'm not in a race to get married, in fact I'm a bit fearful of that HUGE step...but it would be nice to hang with someone. OK Cupid seems to be a much younger crowd, ain't nothing wrong with youth but I think it's time to find someone within my age range. I'll be sure to post about "Bea's Adventures In Dating" lol this could prove to be quite interesting.