OK I’m gonna dig in and shred this mother. Watched The Film again last night and thought perhaps a plot breakdown would be helpful in jogging my brain. Let’s do a comparison shall we? I’m not saying that my life comes anywhere near the Man in Black’s-cause that’s just not true. I’m not THAT good. Lets operate under the premise that “you’ve gotta know the right story to help people”-the quote that stands out. Maybe if I write down the bits of story that hit me I'll be able to help myself.

The Story

Boy looses older brother in tragic accident-I have no older brother and a 19 minute older twin sister-don’t think this applies to me

Talented boy grows to fine young man and joins Air Force-I have no musical ability;am a gifted woman but have never served in the armed forces-do have great respect for those that who have

Stubborn young man marries woman he thinks he loves, starts family and begins musical career-I am stubborn; have no wish to marry at the moment, am not dating any musicians-respect what they do; don’t know any musicians that want to get married; know talented people but they aren’t getting married; know people who fall in and out of love; know people who fall in love with the illusion/their dream mate and then they wake up wondering WTF was I thinking???!!!;

Man writes songs, cuts several records, becomes quite popular, and begins touring-Nope have no desire to record; have no desire to be famous; do make up my own songs after consuming far too much alcohol; enjoy playing with words; would love to tour, I miss stagehand work but am getting far too old to continue doing it-would have LOVED touring with Cash-don’t think it could be topped

Soul mates meet but it’s a timing issue, he becomes addicted to amphetamines due to touring/driving schedule (there were no roadies back then), she marries stock car driver-Met my soul mate-he’s dead, I’m still here-really hate the whole timing issue; am not addicted to pills, don’t know anybody with any addictions at the moment and don’t know any stock car drivers; miss doing technical theatre work have dreams of doing it again-there’s nothing like being a board op or follow spot operator-poetry with light-the flow-the glow-the cheer of the crowd-nothing beats live performances and I can understand why Cash wanted to continue touring

He sinks deeper into addiction, she has a troubled 2nd marriage and they both book an extended stay on the World of Denial cruise-am not taking anything addictive; have not even gone through 1st marriage-don’t think I’ve got a ticket to the World of Denial Cruise line at least not that I’m aware of

Doped up man does “Marathon Walk of Love” arrives at object of affection’s house where she tells him to clean his sorry ass up and get his shit together; man ignores solid advice, passes out in a mud puddle and buys a house-again-my druggie days are over; you would have to be some fucking amazing individual for me to walk 500 miles just to fall down at your door; have no problem telling people to get their shit together and clean their sorry asses up; I have taken precious time, given careful thought/consideration and there have been occasions when my well meaning advice has been ignored-it’s disconcerting because I care- on the flip side opinions are like assholes everybody’s got one; felt like passing out in a mud puddle after closing on my first house

Man gets his shit halfway together and has horrific Thanksgiving dinner followed by much needed detoxification in the care of real friends-I’ve had plenty of horrific Thanksgivings without the aid of amphetamines and beer; no detox scheduled except for surgery consult on Friday which will aid in me getting my shit together; I have wonderful friends too

Man and Love go out on tour; he proposes marriage 40 million different ways; she’s having trust issues; he apologizes in front of a packed theatre and tells her he’s looking for a different answer-she says yes-tenacity is an admirable thing and demands respect especially when put on display in front of 900 of your biggest Canadian fans-a man who willingly performs this kind of action is brave, wise, and worthy. Would I do something like this? The future has yet to be determined and I’ve done stranger things lol

I still don't know what the fuck all of this means.