What Am I Doing?

OK so I'm not smoking and feeling a bit tense. I just need to rant a bit. This morning while preparing my tasty breakfast. I accidently spilled some egg on the burner. I turned off the burner, moved the iron skillet and proceeded to pick up the burner grate (I have a gas stove) to wipe up the mess and heard a hissing noise. I stopped what I was doing when I realized that the hissing noise was the flesh on my fingers frying on the extremley hot metal. What was I thinking? It's rather scary when you're burning yourself and not even aware of it. There are days when I commit one random act of stupidity after another and this is one of them. So I am now typing with blistered fingers that don't really hurt but look all puffy. A blessing in disguise.
Moving on...
I am currently in a relationship with a man and to protect his identity I'll call him The Bacon (short for Canadian Bacon). He should not be confused with any pork products. I thought a breakfast food product was appropriate because he is quite yummie in the morning (wink-wink-nudge-nudge). He once lived in the Great White North-hence-The Bacon. It seems more practical than calling him "He Who Shall Not Be Named" and it's far faster. But-I digress. Bacon and I have had a relationship for several years and one thing that has always bothered me is that I have never felt comfortable telling him about myself. I have tried and end up sounding foolish, goofy, and like a lack-wit. I suppose it stems from rejection and non-acceptance. The last several times that he's come a-calling I've noticed something different in him. I believe that he is tired of the relationship but I do not know how to broach the subject. I do care for him but I also realize that all things must end at some point in time. My difficulty in reading him is that he can be evasive and often he responds to my questions with , "What do you think?". I wish there was a way that I could just talk to the man without making us both feel uncomfortable- stumbling, fumbling and bumbling! ACK! Perhaps I shouldn't return his phone calls or e mails but that doesn't sit very well with me. It drives me nuts when people do it to me so I treat others as I would like to be treated. He has been so helpful and kind. I believe that he was once fond of me but I do not think he loves me. I don't know where I stand. There are days that I would just like to retire to a cave in the mountains and beat my head against stone. So here endeth my rant. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully it will be a smoother ride on the roller coaster of life.