Sunday, April 16, 2006

I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I may be onto something with The Film thing.

I don’t think a life can be narrowed down to just one throughline-it's impossible. Human beings are faceted. A stone can't shine unless light is refracted inside, bouncing around on all the cuts, creating something quite lovely in the process.

Intrinsically what is this motion picture about?

A man who "“walked the line" for everybody else but himself. This choice caused great heartache and guilt leading to full blown self destruction stayed only by very compassionate friends.

A deeply flawed human being given a second chance.

A man with a massive shadow side which drove him into the ground until he found a way to manage it.

A stubborn, determined man who displayed great courage.

These things coupled with the sound of early rock and roll draw me to the film. There is a raw energy in the music of Jerry Lee Lewis, young Elvis, Cash, Carl Perkins et al that I cannot resist. I like the rebelliousness, the lack of pretension (the music came from the gut, if it felt right then it was good); when I hear this music there is no right or wrong, it simply is. These artists had no "handlers", stylists, no roadies, no press agents, no bullshit, it'’s honest. But I’m straying off course here.

Do I walk the line? Yes, I never stray from that fine white line because people depend upon me. I'm the dutiful sister, compassionate-listener friend, ultra-organized work-a-holic office manager; all of these responsibilities often leave me drained and wondering why I choose keep this pace. I can understand why Cash started taking drungs lol. By the same token I enjoy spending time with my family, listening and helping my friends and I love my job. It’s a tough balancing act.

Yes I'm deeply flawed-far from the living embodiment of perfection. Do I believe in second chances-yes, I’m working on mine right now.

Have I been driven down by my shadow side-yes, I bottomed out and pulled myself back up. I learned a valuable lesson and am managing my darker side very well now.

2 Comments:

Blogger Sheri said...

Well done! As soon as I started reading it, I thought, "Damn! She's got it!"

Just tell me one thing; How are you so ultra organized at work??

Sun Apr 16, 03:15:00 PM 2006  
Blogger Bea said...

lol thanks Sheri! I knew you'd understand lol Hope I was able to help. Hang tough sista!

Sun Apr 16, 10:32:00 PM 2006  

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