Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Apologies



















It's wednesday-Hump Day-The Universal Signal to the 9-5 crowd that the weekendend is in sight. I'm going away to the Mountain house with my sister and her family. I need some peace and there's nothing more peaceful than floating around on an inner-tube on a pond in the summertime. Lately I've been focused on what I don't want in my life (see below posts if you're curious). Perhaps it's time to focus on what I do want. So while I'm away I'm going to wrap my brain around things (not physical items) I need to survive, to live a life I can be proud of, to have some peace of mind. I know that I've been down right miserable and I would like to apologize for my poor behaviour. This is a transitionary phase for me and I'm not handling the pressure very well. I've been a bit stressed. That is not a plea for sympathy-please do not misunderstand. Allow me to explain:

I've lost 110 lbs in 9 months-this is the weight of another human being

Have started 2 new jobs and have found no joy in either positions

For the first time in my life I wake up in the morning wondering what the hell I'm going to wear because none of my clothes fit (stupid-but the truth is, that scares me a little). It's a place I've never been-it's because everything is too big-this should be a joyful experience yet I find myself a little freaked out.

I'm afraid...bottom line. Being a creature of routine, my life has been turned upside-down over the past several months. Things that I took for granted as "normal" have become obsolete and I'm fumbling to find my footing. I'm wondering if the dinosaurs felt this way when they spotted the first mammals? Did they know the power of evolution? Will I rise like a Phoenix from the ashes? Yes, of course I will. I transform-that's what I do best. I just have to remind myself to be patient and not get bogged down in frustration.

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