Mattress and the Bea

A few weeks ago I decided to retire my old mattress and box spring set. They were 11 years old and my back was killing me. I drove to a place called Mister Mattress. Why did I choose Mister Mattress? Because in the spring time they get some poor schlub to stand outside the store wearing a foam mattress, paying the person inside to wave at passing cars-it's out of pity that I went there. Perhaps my purchase would ensure that no one would have to be humilitated like that ever again? I splurged and got a BeautyRest Pillowtop mattress set that was delivered yesterday.

Giddy with glee, I sat on my little balcony and watched with great anticipation as the Mister Mattress truck (K-it reminded me of "Rent Me" and I giggled) bleeped and backed into a parking space. I sighed, no more sleepless nights waking up in the morning with an aching back. God I sound like a freakin' commercial. Anyway...within minutes the old set was gone and the new one installed. It's amazing how much two guys can lift up three flights of stairs. After the moving dudes left, I dashed to the bedroom with fresh sheets in hand and was astonished-Gee it didn't look quite THAT big in the store... the top of that very comfy mattress was at waist level for me! I need a step stool to get into the thing. I broke out in fits of giggles as thoughts of falling out of bed rambled through my brain...a 3 a.m. trip to the Emergency Room, a bright young intern asks me how I got a concussion-well, gee doctor I just rolled outta my friggin' bed that's all... I laughed even harder when I realized that for the first time in my life I would be tall-even if it was while I was sleeping.(I'm vertically challenged; at 5'1" just about the entire world is taller than I am). I went to bed last night wondering if I put a pea between the mattresses would I feel it?!!