Happy Birthday?

On this day, many moons ago, back when early mankind all wore wooden underwear and dinosaurs roamed the earth, I was born. As a child, I always thought of my birthday as a special day for on that day, I was unique. For one day of the year I got to pick what I wanted for dinner (since age 12 it's always been Chinese food-scary but true). Mysterious small gifts were always waiting next to my morning bowl of Frosted Flakes, accompanied by hugs and birthday wishes from my sisters and mother (Dad was never really interested in us). I miss the anticipation and joy from those days, I've lost it over time and am not sure how to get it back. My special day has become just like every other.

Today started normal enough. Got to work, pissed off the District Manager, spilled hot coffee down the front of my new white shirt and got not one but two lectures from men that I can't stand. My brother-in-law called, not to wish me a Happy Birthday like a normal human being, but to tell me to drive my car (which already has 234,000 miles on it) into the ground and not purchase a new car. To put the icing on the cake (pardon the birthday pun but it's been such a freakin' joyful day that I just want to stick a fork in my eye) Bacon called to ask how I was doing. I made the mistake of mentioning the whole car issue and he gave me lecture number two on why I should purchase another car and retire the current one. Keep in mind that both of these men make roughly 4 times that amount that I do and have wives that also bring in an income. I guess I appear so insipid that I can't figure out what to do with my finances. I mean since I have the IQ of a potato I wonder how I've managed this long on my own without their financial assistance and advice? It's amazing that I'm still alive and can function without their guidance-the Four Horsemen of the Appocalypse must be saddling up, getting ready to ride and all that stuff.

So it's been a very special day indeed.