The Office Christmas Party

I decided to break out of my self imposed exile and attend the office holiday bash. I'm proud of myself for doing it. Even though I stayed for less than an hour I managed to walk into a bar-by myself. It may sound strange but I have justifiable phobias regarding bars so it was a personal milestone for me to actually enter one, unattended. The party was in full swing by the time I arrived, I was late due to some last minute stuff at the office. My nemisis, Bitchzilla was drowning out the pub noise with the her blistering brays of humorless laughter. The best way to describe this soul grating noise is hearing someone laugh when there is no joy, they're pretending to be amused. One of the reasons I cannot abide this chick (and primarily why I want to punch a hole through her chest) is because sadly, there is not a genuine or honest bone in her body. Enough said about Bitchzilla. Moving on...Being painfully shy in a room full of suits is not an easy thing. Yes I manage the office, see all of these men on a daily basis, field all of their phone calls, make most of their travel arrangements and handle every small detail of their client meetings but I do not swim with them, for they are sharks. They're not evil but when it comes to money they are predators. There are a few that I can be playful around, Grover, Gomez, Chowda, Funk Masta G, Keebler, Potsey, Papa Bear and Estebaaann. None of my playmates were at the party so I felt a bit off kilter, no safety net so to speak. LD, Sara and S can vouch for me when I say I am not a corporate chick, I'm too honest for that. In my mind there's nothing wrong with climbing the corporate ladder as long as you don't lie, cheat, screw people over and steal to get to where you want to be. In this room full of fine suits I'm distinctly out of my element (althought I must admit the cologne factor was mighty fine indeed), I'm more of an intimate settings person. I tried to distract myself by ordering a bevvie, it was a bit loud and I had to shout it three times before the bartender understood me. I snagged my pint of suds and tried to act natural, yeah right. Me, in the midst of a Brooks Brothers convention-yeah that's natural all right LMAO. A few of the lads came up and patted me on the back, thanking me for the great job I've been doing which was nice but my tongue got tied and I could only murmur you're welcomes and smile. Awkward does not describe it lol, the friggin' Bee Gees were singin' (tragedy...when the feelin's gone and you're on your own...it's hard to bear...there's no one beside you, you're going nowhere) LOL To be honest it was comical and I found myself giggling. The image of the brothers Gibb in a sports bar setting with corporate sharks and a mirror disco ball a rollin' was too much and I broke out into full blown laughter. Thank goodness it was loud in the bar and my moment of nervous release was not noticed. I chugged my beer and quickly scampered out of the place.

It was not an incredible experience but I made some baby steps. Next time it won't be so hard.