Super Tuesday

I call tuesdays "Super Tuesdays" because it is the most intense day of the week for me. I have to put on my Supa Bea Cape, bring on my A Game and make it look easy, outwardly nothing is ever a problem. I'm like a duck on water; effortlessly skimming along but my feet are moving at warp speed. Super Tuesdays are filled with meetings which means I run my butt off all day long. Big wigs invade the office and I see more suits than a Brooks Brothers outlet during a sale. I dreaded going into work this morning knowing that I would spend the better portion of the day making coffee, replacing dry erase markers, solving data cable issues and juggling food orders for 50+ people. Add into the mix the usual office running routine; answering phones, sweet talking tempermental copiers, bandaging paper cuts, making travel arrangements for two district managers who have difficulty making up their minds.

Yes it's difficult to choose between a Courtyard by Marriott or should we go for the Hilton? Oh and did you make sure I'm flying Southwest, no I need a later flight please redo that and make sure I get my frequent flier miles OK? I need an aisle seat this time, God last time I was wedged in a center seat like a sardine for 3 damned hours. And I need a rental car, here's my Avis number. Did I tell you I need this by 3 pm today?

Your wish is my comand, allow me to wave my magic wand and solve your problems was my thought as I strolled through the parking lot in the cold amber dawn. My reverie was disturbed by a rhythmic "pffitttt...pffitttt...pffitttt" following me into the building. I hit the elevator button and a woman stood next to me chatting on her cell phone-nothin' unusual with that. I still had no clue what the friggin' noise was and step into the box that takes me skyward. I turn to ask the woman what floor she needs and notice her footwear. Women tend to notice other women's shoes...it's a chick thing. Today, of all days, this woman was wearing mule slippers, leopard print mule slippers...with a $700 dark blue wool power suit. It took every ounce of my being to not stare at the silliest sight I think I've ever seen. The floors ping by and I try to focus on something not funny, Ghandi, a serious case of The Clap, my Mother's funeral..look at the ceiling, count sheep...nothing is working and I look into the mirrored doors, The Leopards are still there...goading me into full blown disarray. I begin to pray, "Dear God, I know You have a Divine sense of humor but please get me off of this thing before I become a giggling idiot. I do not want to disgrace myself in front of a lady lawyer." Thankfully we glide to a halt on my floor. I step out and leave The Leopards to continue on their journey. I wait for the doors to close and then a flood of giggles rushes out of me, I'm sure the entire building heard me losing it. What a way to start the day.