Random Thoughts

Life has been rather hectic of late. The new position at work has been rather challenging and I'm ready to run screaming from the building. It's not what I'd imagined and I've spent the past several weeks dreading going into work. I haven't felt this horrible about a job for a long long time.











Embarassing moment at work last week:
I had meetings in Northern Virginia and a very kind finance manager offered to give me a lift down there since he was going to the same meetings. I was relieved because I loathe driving to our VA office. The DC traffic makes me insane. I generally book a hotel room and drive down the night before just to avoid being a stressed out mess from sitting in grid lock....so...at 5:30 am I'm at the work parking lot in crunchy good Granolaville. Bored out of my skull I grab my iPod/headset and exit The Battle Beetle. I crank up the volume and do a trapese act walking along the white parking space lines, wobbling ankles, arms outstretched I trundle along-oblivious to everything except my balance and the blasting tunes. Suddenly "C'Mon an Ride the Train" by the Quad City DJs comes chuggin' through the headset and I bust a move, layin' some wicked Bea dance moves through the empty lot (Sher and Sara can attest to my wicked groove having witnessed it several years ago live and in person). I'm slingin' my guns, doin' the train chigga chigga chigga chigga- having a blast in my own bass boosted planet-who the frig is gonna see me? It's like 5:30 am and ain't nobody in this neck of the woods 'cept da BeaMeista getting funky-no worries-right? My dress coat is flapping in the breeze, I'm feeling confident because I'm dancing in heels and Christina Aguliera's "Dirty" (the extended Tracey Young radio edit version) blisters my ears, I sing along thinking I can harmonize to Ms A's voice (yeah right)...
gonna get my girls...
getch yer boys (throw out right arm and point to invisible crowd at the other end of the parking lot)...
gonna make some noise...
gonna get rowdy (flip head)...
gonna get a little UN-RULY (kick-ball-change right leg-OH YEAH-CAN I GET AN AMEN?)...
get fired up in a hurry (left-ball change with attitude)...
Gonna get dirty, it's about TIME (flip head with gusto)...

I feel the need to dash (in a gazelle-like fashion) through the deserted parking lot pretending I'm in my own special music video. Lookin' cool, feelin good, got rhythm (or at least my semblence of rhythm which could in fact be mistaken for someone having a seizure I suppose) and I spin (ala Michael Jackson in his 80's apex) to my horror, there sits The Pirate (finance manager) in his vehcile staring at me like I've lost my mind. SHIT! NAILED with no place to hide. You see he'd called me before I got out of my car to tell me he'd be late in picking me up so I figured I had a bit of time to fuck around in the parking lot and twit that I am lost track of time. No graceful way out of this one. Embarassed dash to the passenger door, open it and mumble incoherent response to, "Were you dancing in the parking lot?"-for the next hour I wish for a quick and painless death because not only do I have to sit through an entire day of meetings with this man (turned into a 12 hour day by the way) I then have to ride back with him-yeah I know how to make an impression all right.

I've also been having strange longings to bear a child. I find this unnerving because I've never wanted children. I have no idea what the frig my problem is. Am losing sleep and have started the waking at 3 am routine again.

Been giving thought to moving to New Jersey to be closer to baby sister Kel and brother-in-alcohol John. I find I get lonely easily even with the company of Jack the Wonder Kitten. I don't really have any friends in Columbia, although I have managed to quasi of befriend The Pirate primarily because Chowda (before he moved on) asked me to look after him. Although after my Flashdance routine in the parking lot the other morning I have some doubts about kindling any form of friendship.

Hallelujah... Holy Shit!! Where's the Tynenol?

Good news good news good news!!!!!

I heard from Chowda-he didn't forget me! Asked me to e mail my stuff to him (which I did-PRONTO-right after I walked in the door). There is hope and possibly a better place for me out there. I'm rather excited.

Uber Geekdom

Last night, for some inexplicable reason I went into M. Night Shyamalan mode and watched "The Village" and "Lady in the Water". I am probably the only person on the planet who liked "Lady in the Water"-bottom line-I found it charming. Was it the best crafted script-no-neither was Rocky, yet that took best film. I did not expect it to be the 6th Sense or Unbreakable or Signs...it was a kid movie for adults with overactive imaginations. I howled-at the demise of the film critic character-truly one of the funniest things I've ever seen. If you enjoy his films then by all means go rent this one and get lost in the fun.

"The Village" -always a treat to hear the rhythmic language he's scripted and looking at Mister Phoenix is not a bad way to spend an evening.

After that I watched "Crank" and "DaVinci Code"

"Crank" stars the lovely, yummie and totally delish Jason Statham. Dark humor but fun nonetheless. Watching Jason Statham jog down the street in a hospital gown is just too damned funny for words. (That scene in particular reminds me of my current job-the urgency, the pace, the nonsence and the insanity of the situation-you've just gotta roll with it and pray there's help on the other end of the line). Dwight Yoakum was a surprise and an interesting choice. Good flick!






"DaVinci Code" fabulous cast, interesting story yet the film didn't work for me and I'm not sure why. I adore Jean Reno, Hanks generally makes interesting choices and Audrey Tautou is a delightful actress...so why didn't it work? Hell Ron Howard directed the thing and he usually delivers. Don't know what the deal was but it was not my cup of tea baby.

Bea's Top 10

Groovin' tunes that I've got rollin' through the speakers at the moment:

10. "I Like The Way You Move" - Bodyrockers-the gravel voice guy gets me every time!

9. "Jaded"- Aerosmith

8. "Better Off Alone" - Alice Deejay

7. "Absolutely Not" - Deborah Cox

6. "My Love" - Justin Timberlake

5. "Days Go By"- Dirty Vegas

4. "Sexbomb" - Tom Jones

3. "Ya Mamma" - Fatboy Slim

2. "Love's Divine" (Passengerz Radio Mix) - Seal

1. "C'Mon An Ride the Train" - Quad City DJs

If you hadn't guessed....I'm in full blown dance/trance mode at the moment. Gettin' my wicked chair dancin' groove goin'-mirror ball fired up...boogie shoes primed and ready to roll out baby. Full safety is OFF and lives may be lost on the dance floor tonight...BEWARE!!

Jaded

I'm sitting here, in front of my trusty Mac. Glass of Tin Dog Shiraz 2004 (yummie Australian wine) by my side (half the bottle went down last night and the rest will be consumed tonight with any luck). I've had a rough go at work. Transitioning into a new position can be challenging especially when no one wants to train me-wait correction-the area finance manager-who by the way-I do not report to; in fact have only superficial contact with the man-has been generous enough to explain my job responsibilities. I admire him for seeing my obvious confusion and for the fact that he took pity on my stupidity instead of taking advantage of it.

Where was my new boss?

"Working" from home...for the past 5 days.

I will say no more on the subject for fear that Big Brother at work will find this blog.

Needless to say I'm gonna gut it out and find someone who will train me. Now I'm pissed.

Thinking

OK, I miss this blog. It is my first one, my favorite and I shut it down due to some circumstances beyond my control. Times have changed and I'm moving back to this one.

Much has happened in my time away from this blog. I've had gastric bypass surgery, have lost serious weight since Oct 2006 (75 lbs and counting), have changed jobs and am in the process of re-inventing myself.

I can no longer eat any processed sugars (white sugar, brown sugar, corn syrup, molasses, honey, etc) and fried foods (I literally get physically ill-not fun-you'd be amazed at how many foods have hidden sugar-I read lots of labels now). I think losing 75 lbs in 4 month warrants some kind of sacrifice. I walk 2.4 miles a day and feel much better about myself.

I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror and there are days when I wonder who is that person staring back at me? Surely it's not really me because I don't look like that. She wears make-up, spray gel and perfume-who the frig is this woman? I carry myself differently-people at work call me "The Incredible Shrinking Office Manager" and have sent me links to The Biggest Loser website (I'm not sure why? I think they're being supportive).

Men frequent my desk,grazing on chocolates and candy...in all honesty this freaks me out because I'm no longer the office manager. So why are they stopping at my desk?
I'd like to believe for scintilating conversation but think it's for free candy.

I will turn 40 this year and it scares me. For some strange reason I fear that I will no longer be cool, funny, witty or desireable after 8/2/07.

I have a lovely friend in Jack the Wonder Kitten...he breathes his kitten breath on me at 5:10 am to rouse me from my warm bed, into my cross training shoes and sweat pants. Nothing motivates one more than hallitosis (sp?) at 5:10 am.