It has been far too long since I last posted. I've had a bit of bubbly and wish all readers a safe and prosperous New Year. My resolution this year is to devote myself to career, like the Divine Kate Blanchet in "Elizabeth" I will have one mistress and no master...I am wedded to my job for the moment. Speaking of my job I feel compelled to share...
Several weeks ago, there was a huge, and I do mean HUGE meeting in my office. Spain and Canada had been called down for this important board meeting (we're talking CEO, suits galore-it was-MASSIVE) and there I am. Running 'round the office like a chicken with my head cut off, bringing on my full gymnastics routine, my A game and every ounce of energy I had. In the midst of the mayhem, my boss, (we shall call him F) appraoches me and asks for beverages (I'd forgotten to unlock the fridge in the board room where the sacred stash of bevvies is located). Being the dutiful servant that I am I race to the fridge and crouch down (in an elegant fashion, I am after all wearing heels and a skirt) and proceed to unload the fridge...suddenly I am gripped by a spell of dizziness (I'd forgotten to eat anything-D'OH)...and in the midst of this almightly meeting I plop over like a Weeble. This would be in front of the CEO, President, 8 Vice Presidents, Chairman of the Board and various visiting foreign dignitaries...yes I lose my balance and plop over in an unbalanced mess. I feel the eyes of the CEO upon me with a questioning glance (I can see in his eyes, "What the fuck is her probelm?")...my boss peers over from his padded executive chair and looks at me...I blush and instantly wish for the fastest death possible...now all eyes are upon me. F clears his throat and offers me his arm...I trundle to my feet in a clumsy fashion wishing desperately for the grace of a gazelle and failing miserably regain my footing. I excel in many things, public humiliation is one of them. Let it be said that I am capable of making an entrance, not necessarily a graceful one, but a memorable one to be sure.
I hope this has brought a smile or at least a giggle to you. Have a safe New Year's and all my best wishes.
