It made me smile for the first time in weeks...

I saw this at Osquer's site and had to share, it's really quite lovely.

Some pics

Me, workin' my hot mess o'hair on the balcony today. It's really difficult taking a pic of yourself.



Jack the Wonder Kitten enjoying a roll in the mild weather.

Thank You

I have been "Navel Gazing" (I cannot take credit for that phrase-thank you Mighty Mighty LD)-immersed in my own personal drama not Naval Gazing which would be looking at cute sailors and need to send out a shout of thanks to my Peeps. I am at home today, the Battle Beetle is sick and needed to be taken to the shop for repairs, so I figured I could utilize my time by thanking the people who have been so kind to me. I've discovered that I need to develop some objectivity, cease the self destructive negativity and just BREATHE. I do not suck. It's true that I have some issues running, some changes that I need to make on a personal level in order to move forward in life but that doesn't mean I have to get caught up in the drama. Lesson learned. Sending hugs and love to my Crew!

The Suck-age continues....

Bad day today... have been working my gymnastic routine like nobody's business...CEO tells me-new carpeting and painting by March 1... bend over backwards to find contractors...get two bids...go thru purchasing and I quote..." These bids..um...aren't reputable enough"...have to tell CEO that I suck (even tho carpeting quote has come from folks who have done the White House and BWI)...am following guidelines given to me by boss, MUST go thru incompetent Purchasing Dept (who by the way doesn't know who the CEO of company is.. must explain to Head of Purchasing who CEO IS..this is funny, really)...am trying my hardest and have to tell CEO that what he wants can't happen...CEO responds with "it's OK what's the time fame from Purchasing Dept?"... respond with, God help me, "I don't know?"...do you have any idea how shitty I feel? My hands are tied and I feel like an idiot. I AM the Go To Girl and see I'm failing miserably, I am trying so hard and I can't make it work..I can make anything work and I can't manage to get this done...called contractors and tell them that I suck...bad day. Suspect that life underneath a rock would be good right about now. My suggestion, pull a crack head off the streets, make them some high ranking company official and roll with it baby, 'cause stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Because I suck...

OK I've had a shitty week. Everything I touch falls to shit in seconds. 5:05 pm my boss comes out of his office for the first time all day, strolls up to my desk and in broken english says, "Thins are crazy right now. We'll talk more about this monday...you're getting a raise, 2.7 percent." and dashes back into his office. I am left speechless. See I must really suck to warrant such a horrific increase. I mean the cost of living goes up 9% and I get 2.7 %. Hell that won't buy my gas to get to work. I don't know what evil I must have perpetrated in a past life to warrant this? God help me, I've been trying to work it out all night long and cannot figure out what I've done. I've brought my A Game, made it look easy and this is the treatment I receive? I'm a bit perplexed, actually I've consumed much wine to dampen the sting. Am I really that bad? Do I suck THAT bad? Christ I wish someone had told me sooner so I could do something about it. So I'm sittin' here, sippin' some California chardonnay and wondering if I've pissed in God's corn flakes. I really must suck. Not the usual suck, but industrial strength suck...the kind that defies description.

See I try to be flexible, if I would've know how poorly I was doing, I would've made an effort to change. I know I have many flaws but I would've tried. I mean 2.7% is like going out for dinner and leaving a penny for a tip-what's the damned point? It's an insult. I think it's time I find employment elsewhere, because this is just too damned painful for words. I mean-Christ-why the hell didn't someone tell me I sucked so bad? I've worked the late hours, gone in on my days off, stayed when no one else would and still I fuck up. Please tell me, where have I gone wrong?

Thankfully I made it through last week. When the World arrives in my office it is always grueling. I end up putting in three to four 14 hour days (preparing presentations submitted at the last minute by thoughtless vice presidents), taking care of the list of complaints from the 102 employees and other various stress inducing tasks.

I seem to be transfixed by a movie called "Dark City". It wasn't a popular movie but that has never stopped me from liking a film. It's about a man who wakes up with a fragmented memory. He chases brief flashes of insight throughout the "Dark City" in an attempt to make sense of his life. Jack seems to like the film too.